正文 第80章 都别动!(第1页/共2页)
要说陆大彪这个家伙，估计除了“吃喝睡”之外最大爱好就是凑热闹了，而且是不嫌事儿大那种，一听到江昊聊起对今后的打算，陆大彪立马快速的从床上爬了起来，然后兴高采烈的插言道：
“我知道老大今后的打算，今儿白天我们还聊来着，他的志向是‘捡破烂，拾煤渣，煮茶蛋，烤地瓜，卖耗子药，嘣爆米花，白天经营羊肉串，晚上兼职傍大妈’...”陆大彪一边给自己打着节拍，一边即兴来了段当时网上挺流行的说唱。
“好，唱得不错！别停哈...哎，我说彪子，你看这是啥？”江昊咬牙切齿的抓住一只天竺鼠的耳朵将它高高拎起，展示给陆大彪看，威胁的意思不言自喻。
呆萌可爱的东西人人都喜欢，江昊自然也不会脱俗，从刚刚回到宿舍之后江昊便直接将陆大彪一家“妻儿老小”给霸占了过来，放在小纸盒里摆在床上赏玩，陆大彪因为床上百分之九十九的空间都被自己身上的肉给占满了，也就没加阻拦，没想到现在倒是成了“人质”了。
“别别，哥！昊哥，不，昊爷，我错了，杀人不过头点地，那也是你的大侄子啊，你就忍心这么对它么？哎呦喂，老大你轻点啊，别把耳朵给弄断了，就算它成了一只耳，可你也当不了黑猫警长啊，都是一家人，何必啊这是，相煎何太急啊...”陆大彪慌了，看着在空中不断挣扎着小短腿的天竺鼠，紧张的开始胡言乱语。
“你给我圆润的滚而蛋之，你才黑猫警长呢，瞅你那出息吧，这么一大块头，居然让人用只耗子就拿住脉门了。”江昊好气又好笑的将天竺鼠重新扔回了纸箱，陆大彪这才踏实了下来，急急的光着脚下地，跑过来想要抢夺纸箱，却被江昊一把给拿开放在了另一边。
“一边儿切，我还没玩儿够呢，先放我这儿待会儿。”江昊一把拍开陆大彪的大肥手说道。
“那老大你玩儿我‘媳妇儿’的时候可得轻点啊，它之前摔了一下，腿还没彻底好呢。”陆大彪悻悻的说道。
“噗！我说你丫会用词儿不？什么叫玩你...诶？我靠，我说彪子你怎么没穿衣服啊？”江昊当即差点喷了，可等他转过头往陆大彪的身上看去时有点傻眼了，只见这家伙身上居然没有一件“布制品。”
“谁说我没穿衣服？你思想不要这么龌龌龊龊的行么？你看这是啥？”陆大彪说着，站直了身子，双手同时撩起肚皮，一条鲜红鲜红的大裤衩立刻呈现在了江昊眼前。
“我...次奥！这也行？”江昊顿时目瞪口呆，上铺的老四和老吴也爆笑出声。
“怎么地，羡慕不？我这衣服都是自带隐藏功能的...老大你千万得对我‘老婆’温柔点啊，它可禁不起折腾了。”陆大彪不以为然的挠了挠肚皮，转身又爬上了自己的床。
“我去，这话怎么听怎么别扭，我说彪子，你‘老婆孩子’还是放我这儿吧，要不然就凭你这身‘隐身衣’，我实在是怕你晚上把它们都给压死
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